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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29604120">why would he ever love me?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leeeeeeeeeeeee/pseuds/Leeeeeeeeeeeee'>Leeeeeeeeeeeee</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, DNF, Georgenap, Happy Ending, Karlnapity, M/M, Short Story, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, dreamnotfound, idk how ao3 works pls have mercy, mmmmmm misery</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:42:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,935</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29604120</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leeeeeeeeeeeee/pseuds/Leeeeeeeeeeeee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sleep over gone wrong :) Sapnap sits in uncomfortable silence as he watches Dream and George silently pine for each other, and when George pushes him to confess who his crush is, he snaps.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alexis | Quackity &amp; Karl Jacobs &amp; Sapnap, Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>113</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>why would he ever love me?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>ayo this is really angsty but it has a happy ending so dw &lt;333 ily all, stay safe!!</p>
<p>also ive never posted on ao3 before so uh,,,,, idk how this site works pls</p>
<p>side note: the things like ,this' are sapnap's thoughts! ao3 sadly doesnt have itallics (and if it does idk how that works) so uh yeah</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sapnap couldn’t speak. His throat was dry. His mouth went numb.</p>
<p>Stupid fucking Dream.</p>
<p>Stupid fucking George.</p>
<p>His stupid fucking friends and their stupid fucking feelings. Their dumbass eyes, obliviously pining for each other whilst Sapnap sat there, awkward and hurting.</p>
<p>He’d never get George to look at him that way. The way he looked at Dream. Longing and loving, open and caring and sweet. Not an ounce of malice or teasing.</p>
<p>He’d never get George to kiss him like that. Passionate and genuine, more than a simple peck just because they had to. Because of a stupid fucking game. A stupid fucking sleep over.</p>
<p>Stupid stupid stupid.</p>
<p>Why did he think this was a good idea? He knew it would end up like this. Him sitting in the corner, waiting for George and Dream to finish kissing because of fucking spin the bottle. George hadn’t kissed him like that. It wasn’t long. It wasn’t genuine. It was nothing more than a peck, their lips barely even touched. And here they were. Dream and George. Nearly falling on top of each other.</p>
<p>It hurt. It hurt to look at. It hurt to watch. It hurt to know. Know that he would never ever ever get George to just… love him. At all.</p>
<p>Sapnap cleared his throat, looking away from the scene. “Uh, are you two done yet or should I leave you to it-”</p>
<p>Dream pulled away, his face red. He was embarrassed, the both of them were, as if they’d forgotten that Sapnap was there—they probably had.</p>
<p>“Hah, sorry, Sapnap,” Dream said, hesitating before letting go of George and sliding back to his spot in the circle.</p>
<p>Sapnap felt sick to his stomach. He didn’t feel like playing spin the bottle anymore. There was no point. “Let’s play a different game,” he suggested. “There’s only three of us. It’s kinda boring like that,” he joked, smiling a little, even though all he wanted to do was go to sleep and never wake up.</p>
<p>“Fair enough,” George admitted, putting the bottle away. “Truth or dare?”</p>
<p>“I’m down,” Dream said.</p>
<p>Sapnap hesitated. In all honesty, he didn’t want to play. But he couldn’t say no. They’d laugh at him, call him a chicken, tease him. So instead he said, “Why not?”</p>
<p>“Okay. Dream—you go first,” George instructed, a sneaky glint in his eyes.</p>
<p>“Huh? As in like- I ask someone?”</p>
<p>“Mhm.”</p>
<p>“Okay. Uhmmm. George. Truth or dare?”</p>
<p>George tapped his chin for a moment, thinking. “Truth.”</p>
<p>Dream’s face went red, and Sapnap whispered a small “ooooooooooo~”</p>
<p>Dream glared at him before turning to George. “Did you… do you like anyone?”</p>
<p>Sapnap sighed, leaning against the chair behind him. He just wanted to vomit and die. Of course he likes someone. And it’s fucking you, Dream.</p>
<p>George’s face flushed, tomato-red. “I- Uhm- I- Yes-?”</p>
<p>“Okayyyyyy~” Dream smirked, his mission accomplished.</p>
<p>George turned to Sapnap. “Truth or Dare.”</p>
<p>“Dare,” Sapnap said, unwilling to reveal any secrets of his. </p>
<p>“I dare you tooooooo… kiss me.”</p>
<p>Dream’s face went red again. “Huh???”</p>
<p>Sapnap stared at him. “...why? Why the fuck would you dare me to do that?” He hadn’t meant for the question to come off as serious as it was, but he knew what George was playing at, and he wasn’t about to be used to make Dream jealous.</p>
<p>George snorted. “Because it’s funny to see Dream’s reaction.”</p>
<p>Sapnap’s body tensed. His fingers dug into his arms, and he tried to calm himself. “Give me a different dare.”</p>
<p>“Mmmmmmkayyyyy. Hmmm. I dare you toooo… call your crush. And put her on speaker.”</p>
<p>Sapnap’s eyes widened. “No. I’m chickening out. Give me a truth.”</p>
<p>“Tell us who your crush is.”</p>
<p>Sapnap stood abruptly, grabbing his phone furiously. “Okay. I’ll do the fucking dare.” He went to his contacts, scrolling through miles of useless numbers—doctors, people he talked to once, girls he met on Tinder in desperate attempts to get over George and then never talked to again. He found the letter G, and his scrolling slowed. He glanced up. They were both staring at him, smirking and impatient.</p>
<p>“What’re you waiting for? We wanna know,” George said excitedly.</p>
<p>He looked back down at his phone. He clicked on George’s contact. George’s cheery face stared back at him, a screenshot he got from a stream that he decided to set as the contact photo. Sapnap could see his own face in the reflection of the screen, his lip pressed into a tight line and his eyebrows tense. His finger hovered over the call button.</p>
<p>He couldn’t do it.</p>
<p>“Sapnapppppp~” George called, “Come onnnnnn.”</p>
<p>“Shut up, George, give me a second,” he said, careful to put a teasing edge to his voice. He didn’t want them to think something was wrong.</p>
<p>He clicked away from George’s contact.</p>
<p>He couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t. He could see it. They would laugh nervously. And then they would realize that he isn’t joking. And then an awkward silence would fall over them. It would ruin everything. The whole night. And he didn’t want to do that.</p>
<p>He pulled up Niki’s contact. She would know.</p>
<p>He and Niki had called late into the night one time. They were on a call with a bunch of other people, and as the night wore on, the others left, one by one, until it ended up just being them two, together, alone. It was surprisingly nice. Sapnap had never felt a pull towards Niki, platonically or romantically. He’d never really given her a chance. But that one night, she was so kind and sweet whilst still maintaining a chaotic energy, and it was exactly what he needed. She didn’t tease him or push his boundaries. She leant her ear when he needed it, provided a distraction when Sapnap didn’t want to think about whatever the fuck was going on in his brain, and he aided her when he could. It was an unexpected friendship, blooming from one surprisingly vulnerable late-night call, and it was wonderful.</p>
<p>He pressed the call button. </p>
<p>The phone rang once. </p>
<p>Sapnap put it on speaker. </p>
<p>It rang once more. </p>
<p>Dream and George exchanged nervous glances. </p>
<p>Mid-ring, Niki picked up. “Hello?” Niki asked, her voice reverberating through the quiet room.</p>
<p>“NIKI???” Dream said, astonished. He stared at Sapnap, his eyes wide.</p>
<p>“Uh huh… uh… yeahhhhh….” Sapnap said nervously, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.</p>
<p>“Sapnap? What’s going on?” she asked curiously, her German accent making her voice 10X softer. “And was that Dream?”</p>
<p>“NIKI’S YOUR CRUSH????” George shouted, his mouth open wide. </p>
<p>“Hi George!” Niki said, completely ignoring the other two boys’ exclamations.</p>
<p>“Alright, that’s all, talk to you later, Niki!” Sapnap waited for Niki to say “oh, bye!” before hanging up.</p>
<p>“Of all people??? Niki?????” Dream stared at him, confusion showing very clearly on his face.</p>
<p>Sapnap shrugged, not wanting to push the lie further than he had to. “I mean, yeah. Why’re y’all so surprised?”</p>
<p>“Wow… we just… didn’t really think she was your type,” George said, his brows furrowed. </p>
<p>“Oh yeah?” Sapnap asked, his voice lighthearted and teasing. “What’s my type, then, Gogy?”</p>
<p>George let out a weird "hmph" sound. “I dunno. Less… soft.”</p>
<p>“Would you rather it be you, George?” he smirked, biting back the second part. </p>
<p>,It is you, George. It’s always been you.'</p>
<p>George scoffed. “Ewww, nooooo- oh my god, Sapnap, sit back down,” he said, rolling his eyes. “If you liked me, I would probably vomit.”</p>
<p>Damn. “Mm, we’re all lucky I don’t, then,” Sapnap said, sitting down next to George. His fingers tapped the rug as he asked Dream, “Truth or Dare?”</p>
<p>“Dare.”</p>
<p>“I dare you… toooooo… kiss the hottest person in the room,” Sapnap said, his face smug, even though he wanted to hit himself on the head for doing this.</p>
<p>Dream’s face went red. “What??” he asked, his voice breathless. “I’m not gonna do that.”</p>
<p>“Okay then, who’s the hottest person in the room?”</p>
<p>“Me, obviously.” Dream flipped his imaginary long hair, smiling snarkily.</p>
<p>“Not an optioooooonnnn~” Sapnap sang. </p>
<p>“Dammit. Fine. I’ll kiss him, then. May as well.” Dream leaned over, giving George a small peck on the cheek. </p>
<p>“Good enough. Now you ask George.” Sapnap was ready to move on, not wanting to continue on this topic anymore.</p>
<p>Sapnap zoned in and out for the rest of the game, only half paying attention when it was his turn. Eventually, he yawned, stretching his arms, and the other two started showing signs of exhaustion as well. George suggested that they get some sleep, and they all agreed. </p>
<p>“Wait—before we all go to bed, I have a question for everyone,” George said as Sapnap was in the middle of standing up.</p>
<p>Sitting back down, Sapnap replied, “Shoot.”</p>
<p>“Did anyone lie? At all? During the truth or dare?”</p>
<p>Dream thought for a moment before shaking his head, and George turned to Sapnap, his eyes curious.</p>
<p>What was the harm in telling the truth? It wasn’t like they would know what he lied about. “Yeah. I lied.”</p>
<p>Dream shrugged and got up, not thinking much of it. </p>
<p>“How many times?” George pushed.</p>
<p>He thought for a moment. The crush was the only thing he lied about. “Once.”</p>
<p>“It was probably about his favorite food. We all know he loves my mom's steak,” Dream suggested as he walked to the bathroom.</p>
<p>George nodded, but eyed Sapnap skeptically, as if he knew what was going on.</p>
<p>Fuck.</p>
<p>The three of them brushed their teeth at the same time, and Dream started making faces in the mirror, causing them all to laugh and spit out the toothpaste foam. “Ewwwwww,” George drawled once he’d washed his mouth.</p>
<p>Sapnap rolled his eyes. “Stop being such a baby, George, it’s just toothpaste foam.”</p>
<p>George stuck his tongue out at Sapnap. </p>
<p>,You look so cute like that.'</p>
<p>They climbed into their respective sleeping bags, and within seconds, Dream was out like a light. But surprisingly, George stayed awake.</p>
<p>Sapnap pretended to be asleep. He had his back to George, and he kept his breath steady, but his heart was pounding and his eyes were wide open. He was about to do it. He was about to tell him.</p>
<p>He couldn’t tell him. He could never.</p>
<p>But he had to.  At some point. Some time. He couldn't keep this secret forever, waiting for it to go away.</p>
<p>Sapnap felt a sudden tap on his shoulder, causing him to jump a little. He turned to George, the only other one awake. </p>
<p>George was sitting up in his sleeping bag, and he motioned for Sapnap to follow him. He stood up, and Sap did the same. The two walked out of the room and to the one across from it, tip toeing to make as little noise as possible.</p>
<p>George turned on a nightlight, and Sapnap rubbed his eyes, squinting in the new brightness. “What is it?” he asked quietly.</p>
<p>“Who is it?”</p>
<p>“Huh?” Sapnap looked up at George, who had his arms crossed. “Who’s what?”</p>
<p>“Your crush. Who is it actually?”</p>
<p>He seemed mad. Really mad. “I don’t wanna say,” Sapnap told him. </p>
<p>“You could’ve said that instead of lying!”</p>
<p>“What? And risk you guys calling me a pussy?”</p>
<p>“We wouldn’t-“</p>
<p>“Yes you would, George. You would especially.”</p>
<p>“We don’t mean it!”</p>
<p>“Still! I didn’t feel like being teased more! So I lied! Okay? I don’t feel like saying it.”</p>
<p>“You lied! You have to tell me!”</p>
<p>“I don’t HAVE to do anything, George!” Sapnap’s voice was rising, his anger increasing. He didn’t have to do shit. Because what had George ever done for him?</p>
<p>George seemed taken aback. He softened a little, realizing how angry Sapnap was getting. “Please, Sapnap,” he begged.</p>
<p>He debated for a little. Weighed the pros and cons. But he knew it would come to this. Inevitably, George would find out. What was the point in postponing it?</p>
<p>He pulled his phone out.</p>
<p>He opened his contacts.</p>
<p>He scrolled again, through the numbers and names, until he found G.</p>
<p>He opened George’s contact.</p>
<p>And he pressed the call button.</p>
<p>George pulled out his phone, confused. Seeing the caller ID, he let out a laugh. “Very funny, Sapnap.”</p>
<p>Sapnap met George’s eyes, his gaze dead serious and angry. And he saw the realization dawn on him.</p>
<p>“...Sapnap?”</p>
<p>He didn’t answer. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t look at George. He just sat on the bed and rubbed his eyes, breathing heavily. His phone was thrown to the side, forgotten and still ringing. He looked up at George, and he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to express what he was feeling. It was all so conflicting—the insane happiness George made him feel whilst still causing him so much pain. Insulting him to no end, though it was playful, hurting him in so many ways, and yet Sapnap couldn’t help but fall.</p>
<p>He fell hard.</p>
<p>So fucking hard.</p>
<p>He stood, his hands shaking, his phone still ringing. “There you go, George. You got what you wanted. Right?”</p>
<p>“Sapnap… I-“</p>
<p>“Just shut it. Don’t fucking apologize. I TOLD you I didn’t want to tell you. I said I didn’t want to do it. But you pushed anyway! Because you’re George and you're fucking perfect and you deserve everything in the world and it’s okay if you hurt others because hey, you’re GeorgeNotFound! Pining for Dream since fucking 2013.” Sapnap took a deep breath in, trying to calm himself. “Is this what you wanted, George? Are you happy now? Because I’m fucking not.”</p>
<p>Dream appeared in the doorway, rubbing his eyes. “Why the fuck are you two arguing at like 2 am,,,” he drawled, his voice weighed with sleep.</p>
<p>George looked at Sapnap, pain and conflict showing deeply in his eyes. “Go back to bed, Dream,” he said softly. “Don’t worry about it.”</p>
<p>Dream looked between George and Sapnap, back and forth, before asking, “Why is Sapnap crying….?”</p>
<p>“I’m not fucking crying. Something got in my eye, okay?” Sapnap wiped the tears off his face, his whole body trembling.</p>
<p>Dream raised his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. Are you guys gonna come back to sleep or keep bickering like a bunch of babies?” he joked, but it didn’t land well.</p>
<p>“...give us a second, Dream,” George said, sitting on the bed. </p>
<p>Dream pursed his lips and nodded, closing the door behind him when he left.</p>
<p>“Why do we need a second,” Sapnap mumbled, “when it’s so painfully clear how this is gonna go?”</p>
<p>“Because I want to talk to you,” George responded, folding his legs. “I want to talk this out.”</p>
<p>“Jesus Christ—there’s nothing to talk about! I like you, you like Dream, Dream likes you. The solution is obvious. You and Dream get together, and I sit there and suffer. It’s how it’s always been. George and Dream. And then there’s Sapnap.”</p>
<p>“No, Sapnap. You and Dream have known each other for much longer than I’ve known you two. I’m the outlier here.”</p>
<p>“You guys are so much closer, though. It’s fuckin crystal clear.”</p>
<p>“I…. I’m sorry, Sapnap.”</p>
<p>“Don’t apologize. It only makes it worse.” Sapnap was pacing the room, rubbing his arms. He was freezing, even though he was in one of his thickest, warmest hoodies.</p>
<p>“...will you be okay?”</p>
<p>Sapnap wanted to strangle him. He wanted to strangle George until he didn’t have room to breathe. Until he couldn’t speak like that again, until he couldn’t talk to Sapnap so genuinely. It made things so much worse. The apologies, the soft, raw edge to George’s voice. It made Sapnap feel guilty for something he couldn’t control. Guilty for messing everything up, even when George was the one that pushed.</p>
<p>He looked at George, drinking in the features of his face. The soft shine of his sky blue eyes, the barely visible freckles dotting the bridge of his face, only noticeable if you really looked. The shine of the nightlight lighting up his round and rosy cheeks. </p>
<p>Sapnap sighed, sinking against the wall. He would be okay. He knew he would. But it felt so impossible, with George sitting there so enticingly, so perfect in his glamour.</p>
<p>“I’ll be alright,” he said finally, his voice more raw than he intended. And even as he spoke the words, he knew they were false. Another lie to make George feel comfortable. “I’ll get over it.”</p>
<p>Just another brick to heighten the wall of lies he’d built over the years.</p>
<p>꧁꧂</p>
<p>As it turns out, Sapnap was okay. It took a long time. Months upon months of staying up late, coming to terms with the fact that George would never love him. He’d learned that there was a big difference between realizing and accepting something. </p>
<p>Karl and Quackity helped him through it. They’d stayed up late with him when they could, calling until 5 am or even later. And when Karl had jokingly proposed to Sapnap, he felt a spark inside him. A spark he hadn’t felt in ages. Not since he’d first fallen for George.</p>
<p>It took time. But everything worked out, in the end. Dream and George finally made it official. And when they put a ring on it, Sapnap was Dream’s best man.</p>
<p>And it didn’t hurt. For the first time in forever, Sapnap was genuinely happy for his friends. Without an ounce of jealousy or remorse.</p>
<p>He had Karl. He had Quackity. He had Dream. And he had George. Maybe not the way he’d wanted. Maybe things weren’t perfect. But Sapnap realized that it was okay. Imperfection could be nice.</p>
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